2026-06-09 00:59:51 +00:00
1 changed files with 5 additions and 5 deletions
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ Acoustic aberrations dissipate
 // what didn't arrive is genuinely unknown. not mourned. the protocol doesn't carry that information.
 // tone: observational, not mournful. emotion doesn't assert itself - detectable only if you're paying attention.
 // could be more than a couplet. give it room if it needs room.
-Flimsy funnel struck by a packet rain
+Agnostic funnel struck by a packet rain
 Fine-grained acknowledgements ground astray

 Ocean as a desert buries all of its life
@@ -90,9 +90,9 @@ Or the next one could never fire otherwise
 // Thoughts: 'the light dies' because a pulse is mostly dormant you wanker. You have to let the light die so it lights up again, simple as

 // ending verse(s) before the painfully long instrumental outro
-p.....
-u.....
-l.....
-s.....
+partial coldfront over a landlocked island
+unravels the illusion of independent 
+lamenting functions weave a zigzag pattern
+stablising fins break the rogue waves
 essential sentiments left unconditionally permanent
 ```