pulse: verses refinement

wip/pulse.md

@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@ Distant stations estimated in abnormal heat perform the collimation rite.
 
 Dive.
 The black screen of stalemate conceals the black stars, the black comets, the black meteorites
-their questionable glitters and gleams, once emissions of brave borderers and dark adventurers
+their questionable glitters, once emissions of brave borderers and dark adventurers
 now the only traces, obscured and indifferent to all but those with a special breed of faith.
 // 'Dive' - an opposite to 'Surface'. This is on the receiving end. 
 // Just see this as 'receiving other guys' pulses'. 
@@ -65,33 +65,24 @@ An impulse signal, also referred to as a unit impulse, is defined as a signal wi
 // more 'rhythmic yelling' than singing, you get the idea
 Subdued sonic scalars vectorise
 Acoustic aberrations dissipate
-// sahb - duwd - sao - nihk - skay - lahrs - vehk - tahr - rayz,
-// (ah - ) kaws - tihk - ax - bahr - ray - shaxns - dihs - sah - payt
 
 // --- stanza: the receiving end ---
-// the rover is also a receiver. dual nature - emitter and listener.
-// signals arrive occasionally. sparse, not a stream.
-// the rover knows others were lost - not reported, but inferred from being a transmitter yourself.
-// what arrives gets a grin. brief. acknowledging the crossing, not the content.
-// what didn't arrive is genuinely unknown. not mourned. the protocol doesn't carry that information.
-// tone: observational, not mournful. emotion doesn't assert itself - detectable only if you're paying attention.
-// could be more than a couplet. give it room if it needs room.
-// rhyme: lax, not strict. sonic texture matters more than scheme.
+Isotropic funnel struck by a packet rain
+Fine-grained bags of acks ground astray
 
-The ocean as a desert buries all of its life
+Ocean as a desert buries all of its life
 Deck the shell with a perfect thermocline
-// (thax - ) ao - sheh(n) - naes - ax - deh - zahrt - bah - riys - ao(l) - lahv - ihts - layf
-// (dehk - thax - ) shehl - wit - ax - pahr - fekt - thahr - mow - klayn
 // 'deck the shell': intentional vagueness between 'decorate the outer shell' and 'knock on the border surface'.  
 
-Light dims and dies in the rover's eyes
-Or the next one could never come otherwise
-// Thoughts: 'the light dies' because a pulse is mostly dormant you wanker. You have to let the light die so it lights up again, simple as
+Dimmed light gone from the rover's eyes
+Or the next one could never fire otherwise
+// The image is good, the language isn't: too plain here. 
+// Stay optical
 
 // ending verse(s) before the painfully long instrumental outro
-p.....
-u.....
-l.....
-s.....
-essential sentiments lay unconditionally permanent
+partial coldfront over a landlocked island
+unravels the illusionary legend of ziptie independency
+lamenting functions weave a zigzag pattern
+stabilising fins break the rogue waves
+essential sentiments left unconditionally permanent
 ```